IMing with the Cullens
by TeawithDent
Summary: not very well edited, over-abused storyline. enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh. My. God." Alice said, standing up.

Edward sighed "just tell us what we're going to do, Alice."

"we, the cullens, are going to go… IMing!"

"really?"

"you cant be serious…?"

"Alice!"

Were the replies, amongst other… less elegant words.

"hold on!" she chirped, and dashed up the staircase.

Five minutes later, after a lot of foot tapping and scraping noises from the computer room, Alice called down, "okay, come on up!"

They all filed into the computer room, where Alice had arranged the tables so it was a circle with a cord-connecting station in the middle.

"ok, so, I set it up so that we are not ACTUALLY on the internet, just typing because the computers are hooked up wirelessly."

Edward looked pointedly at the tangle of cords in the middle.

"charging" Alice rolled her eyes.

"now these," she said, sliding some lightweight metal between all the computers, "are _speoteto cuniclularius _metal blockers. ( this author would like to add that that long name that I don't want to type out again is actually the latin name for burrowing owls… I knew that by heart) "they repel gifts such as Edwards," she pointed toward her head… and made a quick swirly motion before Edward could notice. Emmett chuckled. "and mine."

They all took a seat at the ring.

"okay, now make usernames…" the sound of fast paced clicking filled the air, and then they logged on, one at a time (another a/n, I'm not going to tell you who's who. Figure it out.)

**Grizzly_adams_jr has signed on.**

**Grizzly_adams_jr: hell0!**

**Im_secretly_british has signed on.**

*****!***: em?**

**Grizzly_adams_jr:yup! Alice?**

*****!***: yup!****JJJ****^o^**

**Emois4emotional has signed on. **

**Emois4emotional: man! I would have liked 'jazz hands' but somebody took it! ****L**

**Jazz*hands has signed on.**

**Emois4emotional: what the crap?**

**Jazz*hands: hi unkl jaspr!**

**Emois4emotional: nessie?**

**Jazz*hands: u dnt want 2 kno.**

**The^lion^king has signed on.**

**^simba^ has signed on.**

**Grizzly_adams_jr: daddy, mommy?**

**^simba^: yup!**

**Royce^s*head*will*roll has signed on. **

**Grizzly_adams_jr: why didn't we have cor…cor…crspndng names like them? **

**Royce^s&head*will*roll: because you would probably want a wrestling team or something stupid like that. Do you really want to be xXgabanaXx with me as xXdolceXx?**

**Grizzly_adams_jr: nope, I'm good.**

*****!***: hey, nessies here but wheres e+b?**

***smexykitten1144* has signed on.**

***smexykitten1144*: oh, blast! I thought no one saw your name!**

***smexykitten1144* has signed off.**

**No^choppy^lambs^plz has signed on.**

**No^choppy^lambs^plz: er… it's me, Bella…?**

**Grizzly_adams_jr: then who was that who just came on!**

**No^choppy^lambs^plz: idk!**

***I,m,lion,hear,me,roar* has signed on.**

***I,m,lion,hear,me,roar*: er… sorry, I didn't think that you could see names…er…...?**

**^simba^: that wuz u, edwrd?11/!**

**The^lion^king: omg!111`! Uz r crmpg myz stiel!1111! Uz better give me noms!111!**

***I,m,lion,hear,me,roar*: that's how you type?**

**^simba^: ja! Wuz rng wit dat?/1/1/11?**

**Grizzly_adams_jr:…...**

**No^choppy^lambs^plz: er…. Yeah…..**

**Jazz*hands: u rly shud try it guyz its fun!11111!11**

**Emois4emotional:….. I don't think so….**

*****!***: iz b likng it!1111 MAI 3 BLNGS 2 LOLCATZ! (and jazzy!9**

Like it? J


	2. songew

**Ok, just as a little point, I forgot to mention last chapter that Alice was looking into the future, for something to do. If she hadn't been looking into the future, she never would have seen what she was going to do, and therefore never would have done it, making….? Paradoxes like this shouldn't exist, anyway, for the sake of sanity. Also, I would like to add that Alice's name was actually (star) (star) (star) I (heart symbol, arrow and the number three) my Porsche. P o r s c h e in case you can't read it.**

**Also, I'm on vacation, so I may not be updating as quickly, but I hope to be able to every couple of days, or at most a week. (don't you hate it when authors don't update for months at a time?) **

**And, I didn't mean to say that they were OFF the internet, but more…. On a private room, or something like that, that needs a password.**

**ANYWAY, sorry for boring you; here's the next chapter.**

**Jazz*hands has signed on.**

**Jazz*hands: hello?**

**Jazz*hands: Jake- are you there? **

**: has signed on.**

**:: do you like my name. ness?**

**Jazz*hands: yes! Lol, you look…. Anonymous! **

**:: I know!**

**Jazz*hands: so….. Alice can't see us to tell mommy and daddy, then?**

**:: that leech can't see anything!**

**Jazz*hands: jakey….. Please be nice, you know I love both of you!**

**:: yeah, yeah, I know…**

**::hey, why were you talking short hand before?**

**Jazz*hands: so they didn't know I was such a fast typist, they may jump to conclusions about how often I do this…**

**:: wouldn't they do that if they saw how much short hand you knew?**

**Jazz*hands: yeah, but it's the technological age; everybody and their great aunt sally know short hand. **

**:: true, true.**

**Jazz*hands: want proof? I was outside hunting, and I heard a bird chirp, you know what I did?**

**::?**

**Jazz*hands: checked my phone. **

**::! Omg, that's great!**

**Jazz*hands: Alice coming, g2g, I'll repeat something so she doesn't see what we were saying.**

**:: love you, ness.**

**Jazz*hands: love you, too.**

**: has signed off.**

**Jazz*hands: I luv 2 type!**

**Jazz*hands: I luv 2 type!**

**Jazz*hands: I luv 2 type!**

**Jazz*hands: I luv 2 type!**

**Jazz*hands: I luv 2 type!**

**Jazz*hands: I luv 2 type!**

**Jazz*hands: I luv 2 type!**

**Jazz*hands: I luv 2 type!**

**Jazz*hands: I luv 2 type!**

**Jazz*hands: I luv 2 type!**

**Jazz*hands: I luv 2 type!**

**Jazz*hands: I luv 2 type!**

**Thomas*Cole*lover has signed on.**

**Thomas*Cole*lover: hey, ness! Do you like my new name? I thought it fit me better; I don't want to be branded as just another American Top Gear lover.**

**Jazz*hands: wut is top gear n who is tomis cole?**

**Thomas*Cole*lover: Google, and Google.**

**Thomas*Cole*lover: be rich with wisdom, my young one.**

**Training a person in knowledge makes one co-dependant, and ignorant of any knowledge outside of it's teacher.**

**Knowledge learned by exploration, that is true wisdom.**

**Jazz*hands: who sed that?**

**Thomas*Cole*lover: *shrug* made it myself. (a/n, I MADE THAT! Do you like it?)**

**Jazz*hands: wow.**

**Thomas*Cole*lover: yup.**

**Jazz*hands: so, Thomas Cole is….? A riter or sumthng? Thomas*Cole*lover: painter, actually. Jazz*hands: whats ur fav pantng of his?**

**Thomas*Cole*lover: The Consummation Of Empire. It's from his empire series.**

**Jazz*hands: huh. I'll ggle image that!**

**Thomas*Cole*lover: yup.**

**Thomas*Cole*lover has signed out.**

**Jazz*hands has signed out.**

…

…

…

**Grizzly_adams_junior has signed on.**

**Royce's^head^will^roll has signed on.**

**Grizzly_adams_junior: oh, crap, Rosalie. **

**Grizzly_adams_junior has signed off.**

**Royce's^head^will^roll: why does that always happen when I enter a chat room?**

**Anonymous*stranger: has signed on.**

**Royce's^head^will^roll: who are you? This is a closed network!**

**Anonymous*stranger: Rosalie?**

**Royce's^head^will^roll: who the heaven are you?**

**Anonymous*stranger: rose. It's me.**

**Royce's^head^will^roll: who?Anonymous*stranger: me!**

**Royce's^head^will^roll: ^sigh^ what is your name?**

**Anonymous*stranger: I don't give out my personal info online; it's basic cyber-safety.**

**Royce's^head^will^roll: right. What do you look like?**

**Anonymous*stranger: hmm…. Russet skin, bright white teeth, thick muscles…;)**

**Royce's^head^will^roll: Jake?**

**Anonymous*stranger: no, I was just copying that from a book I found on my girlfriend's shelf. I don't look like that!**

**Royce's^head^will^roll: lol! Ya wanna know what IIIIII look like? ;)**

**Anonymous*stranger: ah-course! Are ya gonna get it from a book?Royce's^head^will^roll: yup! I've got…. Brown hair, big brown eyes, delicate, pale skin…. And, I dress… stupidly. ;)**

**Anonymous*stranger: lol. wut book didya get that from?**

**Royce's^head^will^roll: hmm…. Something I found on my niece's book shelf. Something called 'Twilight' or something. Thick, it *stranger: omg! That's the same book I got mine from!**

**Royce's^head^will^roll: really? What are the chances!**

**Hey, where do you live?**

**Anonymous*stranger: Washington, near Seattle, kinda. And near Port Angeles. **

**Royce's^head^will^roll: Forks? **

**Anonymous*stranger: **

…

**Yeah…**

**Do you want to meet or something?**

**(a/n, I'd just like to remind you that Rosalie is sitting at the desk where Alice can't see her; the metal or whatever blocks it)**

**Royce's^Head^will^roll: go to Olympic park. Be there by 10:30. Look for the devil in a blue dress.**

**Anonymous*stranger: ****JJJJJJ**** I'll be there.**

**Anonymous*stranger has signed off.**

**Royce's^head^will^roll has signed off.**

**Sorry, this fic is just going straight down hill. Sorry. I'm just letting my imagination roam free, so I can get back to my other fanfics.**

**Sorry. **

**This fan fiction is getting so crappy, I'm switching out of IM mode.**

**,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,~,**

**I pulled on a tight icy blue silk dress, white 7-inch stilettos, and a white fedora with a cool blue around the bottom, right above the face-hiding rim. She did all this where the computer was (a tough feat) so Alice couldn't see. **

**She had to purposely block her thoughts as she walked out the door (she had gotten some practice with this art when she went to get her dress and shoes and things.**

**She hopped into her convertible and reversed quickly out of the spot. She was careful to be quiet (so Alice and the rest wouldn't hear her upstairs) until she hit the highway. She stomped on the accelerator, laughing as lights flickered on behind her.**

**It was like magical electric was spewing from the back of her car; lights in houses followed her (and her loud engine) around. **

**She pulled into the park five minutes early. **

**She walked over to the bench, and pulled out a **_**vogue **_**magazine copy and reviewed the styles. **

_**Hmm…**_** she thought, **_**so tribal prints are in style. Time to bust out the leopard print over-knee boots! **_

**Just then, she heard the deep rumble of a jeep pulling into the parking lot. **

**She pulled her hat down, crossed her long legs, and hoisted the magazine to hide her face. **

**(a/n I just realized this sounds a lot like a song…;))**

**Someone lumbered up behind her while she pretended to still be engrossed in her fashion news.**

**He tapped her on the shoulder. **

"**oh, it's you." **

"**let's go home, Rose." Emmett replied. **

_**If you like pina coladas…**_

_**And getting cauuuuught in the rain. **_

_**If you're not into health food,**_

_**If you have half a brain….**_

**JJJJJJJJJJJ**

**I know those lyrics are out of order, but I put them there just 'cuz. In case anyone didn't get it.**

**Thanks for reading; this is the end. Unless I decide later to somehow coax some life into it. Whatever. Please be nice and review in a nice way!**

**Thanks!**

**p.s. I think this may become my 'request' fan fiction. **

**For example, if you review saying "I really want a fic with Renesmee and Jake going to the prom" or, "I want my name to pop up" or even a more vague, "they are chatting and Alice suddenly brings up the subject of Fan fiction(dotty) c o m. maybe make them go on it?" also, GOOGLE that! Google the things that Alice told Nessie to Google. It's my favorite things!**


End file.
